FEAR - What induces it? How can you deal with it?

 

His head was reeling. There he stood, all five-foot-five of him, unable to think of a single question to ask.

It was the very beginning of his career as a new lawyer, and he couldn't even muster the courage to cross examine a witness in court. He feared he was going to lose the case. 

`I stood up' he recalled. `but my heart sank into my boots'. 

He had failed at his very first case. He sat back down, told the client to hire a new representation and returned his fee. 

Who could have predicted that Mahatma Gandhi, one of the world's greatest leaders and a mentor to many once had the fear of failure.

If you were to be asked the general question `What is your greatest fear?' I am sure you would also give me the general answers I have compiled in my research. i.e fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough and fear of the unknown.

Hugh Jackman may be known as the aggressive fearless character `Wolverine', but he is definitely someone who grew up with a lot of fears. In summary, he had the fear of not being his best when it mattered. 

`I hate that feeling of fear, I hate being afraid. I was a very fearful kid' - Hugh jackman

He decided to face his fears because he felt he needed to, as he was really afraid fear was taking over his life.
Many of us certainly come from a family, society or environment where these fears have been induced into our lives both consciously and unconsciously. For you, it could be the fear of not meeting up to your family, friends and society standards which could be induced by your family members having a high standard rating, your rich and wild friends and your society looking down on those who seem to be struggling and appraising those who are wealthy and successful.
This fear can cause you to feel frustrated every time things are not going well for you, it can also make you resort to taking shortcuts to attain massive wealth because of your ultimate drive to meet up to these standards.
Whatever your fears may be, it is induced by certain values that push you to be who you are now mentally, emotionally, physically and even financially. The sad truth about not dealing with these fears is that however, in most cases, it eventually turns out to be a reality. Why? 

Take a look at two practical examples. 

Mr A has the fear of failure and allows it to envelope him in such a way that he avoids taking any risks, investments or decisions that he cannot see the tail end of. He keeps going in a static direction with a job that frustrates him but because he is afraid to start from rock bottom, he bears the pain of his depressing job. Mr A has no idea that his fear has limited him and actually become a reality because he feels like a failure. 

Mr B also has the fear of failure but he takes control of his fear and recognizes that he can use it to his advantage. Mr B fails at some of the businesses he invests in but he doesn't quit because he has conditioned his mind to know that failure is a push to try harder and eventually, Mr B turns out very successful after many failed investments. 

The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible - Arthur C. Clarke

These practical examples are evidences that when you don't face your fear, you might eventually turn out to be what you fear. And before you berate yourself for feeling afraid, recognize that fear is a normal evolutionary response. Fear comes from a region of the brain called Amygdala and it lives right by your brain stem. It's there for survival and also to keep you alive. While the amygdala does it's job so well, it has a problem with differentiating between the good fears and the bad ones and it depends on you to know the difference and take control of the bad fears. Overcoming the fears that limit your potentials allows you to harness the fear response and use it to your advantage.

Now that you know what can induce your fears, let's focus on how you can deal with them. 

The first step is Identifying your fears. What is it that you are afraid of? Sit quietly for a few minutes and observe your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations. Take your time and write down what comes to your mind. 

Second step is Recognize that fear can work to your advantage. Our emotions exist to give us signal warnings. Listen to your fear. 

Third step is Know what induces your fear and why it does. Know the root cause of your fear. Think about it. A moment of reflection can have a great effect on overcoming fear in a way that is productive, deliberative and effective. 

Fourth step is Make your goals your priority. What does the life you desire look like? Is it just a dangling plan or do you actively work towards it? Consider what your life would look like if you don't achieve this outcome and compare it to what it will look like if you do.

Fifth step is Accept that you'll fail and don't quit.  When you accept from the onset that failure and rejection are an inevitable part of success, you will be less afraid of it. Failure can provide you with valuable learning experiences that will positively impact your future strategies. 

The last step is Do the opposite of what your fear decides for you to do. Now this does not mean that when your amygdala tells you not to run into a moving bus, you should do the opposite. Distinguish between the good fears and the fears that act as a barrier to your success and act on the fears that limit your potentials by taking an opposite approach to what it says. 

With these steps, my friend, I can guarantee that you are on your way to being in control of your fears and being in control of your life. 

Do not allow your fear control you. Control your fear. 

Peace out☮️🕊️